While some might celebrate the notion of their ex’s disappearing from their small town gossip rounds, it becomes an act of vandalism when the vanishing X ‘s are from the signs of small businesses. The assistant manager of the newly renamed Te aco gas station in Middleroamers, TX stated, “At first it was one or two a week, then one day we all noticed that they were all gone.”

The letter-grabbers didn’t stop at Middleroamers though, but the thieves have left an X-less path through rural communities from Big Spring to Commerce. As replacement signs were ordered, graphic design and signage companies have asked for patience as typographers work overtype in replacing each the stylized and branded designs.

The New Old Dime Box Cowboy Church claimed responsibility for the thefts in a surprising update, claiming that a connection of the letter X to the former MPAA rating system has made the letter a symbol of sin.

“Ummm… it’s the alphabet… I don’t get it,” said local shop owner, Nina Jo Lemons, in response to the explanation. “It’s like terrorism, but with the alphabet. I guess we should check the books in the library too.”

The church refused to produce proof of life of the missing letters, but has considered paying for the replacement as long as they are substituted with a different letter or number, as long as it’s not 6.

City councils across the impacted communities are considering this offer.